Archive for November, 2013

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I See Only For You, My Father.

November 10, 2013

The most famous biblical chapter on love is from 1 Corinthians:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

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And, I shall speak the truth for you my, Lord.

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A Rented Universe and My First Love

November 5, 2013

Ethics

Tesey

Cheryl Ann Fletcher

 

I never realized, until I was in my early forties, just how important our universe really is, and full circle we travel, it’s all right there. Sometimes, our thoughts cloud the journey of, what is already predesigned.

Mark, my ex and I married, in December of 1989. He was the last person, I wanted to marry. He knew, how I felt, as I had moved back into, Lincoln, Ne, after living in, Colorado. I had moved there at nineteen, married, right out of high school.  It had been ten years sense, my feet traveled, Nebraska streets, full –time. Here I was, just divorced, and not looking for love.  My love was a man, I sought out to find, and then, came, Mark. God threw up that road block. The road, threw me a curve ball, yet my heart still yearned.  Mark and I married. I gave birth to my/ His, son.  He’s my miracle, as I had lost a child, before and after him. Things always come in three’s.  We three went throughout life, happy and then, we moved to, Colorado. God’s country, my home in my heart, and always will be. Only eight months later, having to sell and move back to, Nebraska.

Leaving Greeley, Colorado, in April of 2000, was hard. My ex, had lost his job, and found that his father was dying of Cancer. We’d gone to, Colorado and bought a home, which resembled a Better Homes and Gardens.  Yes, I had a new home although; it just didn’t fit my skin, or my soul. Driving away, in April of 2000, I felt like there was more to this circle, and I waited. Robert, learning more so, that roads don’t always lead to, what you want. His world was in an upheaval, as my heart was.  Mark, had gone back to Nebraska, and both, Robert, and I waited. It was Marks, job to find us a home. Then, the call came to pack up the remainder of our minimal belongings and hit the road.

We arrived in, Nebraska a day later. Living in a hotel, waiting for that chance to see the homes, Mark selected. Then, the one that stood out in my mind, I had already visioned.

I drove by several times, after I read the listing:  Acreage 4.75, rustic, chicken coop, and pole barn, lots of room to run, great family home!  I sat in that hotel room dazed. Then, the fear set in.  Could I live, out in the country?  Yes, that old creepy feeling set in, out in no man’s land? Where your home is a target for killers, rapists, and where homeless would roam!  Oh, my God! Could I live out, in the woods, with raising an eight year old child?

The call was made, and the appointment, set. My ex said, Cheryl, you’re going to love this place He knew, that my love for the outdoors, and all things made by our creator, I would thrive there.

As, I drove up to the property, with my son, Robert, the vision hit me. I saw me sitting on the porch steps, just gazing off into God’s glory. I knew, without doubt, I was there for a reason.   While walking, throughout the home, I felt like I belonged there, for whatever time, He wanted me there.  When, I came to the back door, I gasped. I stood there in wonder, as my thoughts went to the trees of life. The beauty, which surrounded our home!  I was taken back, by all the acres of land. I could hear the wind rustling, through them.  Suddenly, Robert went flying out that back door, into the wild blue yonder. He was in Seventh Heaven!  I wasn’t surprised, one bit. My child was a soccer kid, and a fort kid. His mind, his heart was already running to the field of dreams.

May of 2000, we signed the papers, and the keys were in our hands.  The key that fit the door to prosperity, and wholesomeness was brought to us, by Him.  The deal was sealed, and we were, on are way!

Moving in, wasn’t easy, but I knew it would all work out. Many days of hard work, tearing up the stained carpets, on my own, during the day seemed endless. I knew the meaning of, blood, sweat and tears. Yes, they were all tied, to the gift. For once, I felt planted. The worked had, been complete and our home was in good living conditions. Settled? Nope.  I went a long throughout ten years in this home, wondering, when he’d allow the door to be open, again to a story yet finished. Then, the urgency of finding a job set in, as I didn’t feel satisfied.  I worked in a job, I created.  I was a Credit Analyst, for Hastings Industries. They’d never had a Credit Collections Department, until I came on board. Although, this job was short lived, I was only there, for a year. The owner had, passed and left the Industry, to a family member, who allowed the company to go bankrupt. Collateral damage, as I set in my office and watched many employees’, lose their jobs, and knowing, that I would be retained for the collections of outstanding debts. I resigned. I wasn’t going to feed, the greed.

There, I was again, at a loss, so I went back to College.  While attending, Church, I heard God’s, call!  The Pastor, announced, that our town was in desperate need for Foster Care Providers. I bowed my head, and prayed for a sign. I got my wish. I withdrew from College, but I made it to the Dean’s list! We then, became Foster Parents.   I wanted to take care of, HIS children. That adventure went on for five years.  The years lost, from not enjoying my only child.  The loss of personal times tore our family apart. Once Foster Care ended, Mark, a diabetic for years, started having medical issues, from years of uncontrolled sugars. He’d lost a lot of drive to take care of his medical issues. He went into a depression, and in that process, turn away from me. I had lost hope, yet I still yearned.  I held on, until my son made it, through high school. Then, the guilt began to eat me alive, my health, began to show signs of diabetes, and high blood pressure. Little did I realize, this onset of these issues, were they slowly killing me? Yet my heart still yearned.

Robert went off to the Military. I went off to Lincoln, and separated.  During the course of this time, away, I found real love, real happiness. I found the love of my life. My first love!  There he was on Facebook, our story, an open book! Chapters unwritten!  Divorce was barking up this tree, I knew, this marriage was over, five years prior.  I guess I, had to go full circle, to find Keith, the love I earned, at fifteen. He was my first boyfriend. The relationship was taken away by my mother. I guess, I was too young, for real love. Yet I knew, he was the one, for me.  I searched for him for years, and now looking back, every road I took led me straight to him, and the Universe, well it was spinning in perfect timing. He was, and always will be to me, a very loving man. He loved trees.  This man, taught me, what, Jesus wanted me to understand. That all things work for the good, and he sent me back to, Keith, my teacher. He loves, Jesus as I do, and I needed to learn more, about our Universe, and how we all blend into it.  The love of my life!  The cycle of life, the Tree of Life, I found in him.  He’d had a daughter, and twice divorced, as I.  We were both in idol, for His perfect timing, and right back to our beginning.  My, first! My last, my, everything.  Though, I fought for a life time of happiness, with him, as the footprints on my path, behind me are proof. I spent almost three years, with him, and his children only to end in sorrow, and broken hearts.  His branches withered and cracked from, relationships prior, had taken its toll, on him. He no longer had, enough to withstand, the storms betwixt us, regarding my struggles, his children’s issues.  The branch broke, that held me.

He’ll always be, the man that grew me into, who I am today.  This is what I believe:  That God spins all things in orbit, including life, love, family, friends, etc.  We all belong to our mother earth, and live, and then die, by HIS, hand. Without faith, for all things, we lose the value of, what’s right in front of us. All things need cultivating, otherwise the garden, stops growing and death sets in. Then, we lose the meaning of, and the purpose of human nature, human love. Engraved, by the delicate, precision of his predesignated, mate he sent to you.

 

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